Do you ever feel alone? Like you're the only one dealing with problems? Or maybe because you've got something you feel like you can't tell anyone else about?
I've felt that way a lot. I've spent a lot of my life lonely, even though I've always been surrounded by people who loved me. It's not a fun place to be.
I've been pinned down by the fear of rejection and by depression/anxiety. I've tried to win approval and friendship by being clever, by doing things right, or at least by hiding what I've done wrong or what people might not like.
Change takes time, but I'm changing. I'm learning how to let people see more of my real self. I'm learning how to encourage other people and connect with community.
I write this blog because I want people to feel less alone in their own issues and struggles. My very first post, the one that gave a name to this space, was inspired by a story in the Bible about a man with a big problem, who stood up when an itinerant preacher asked him to and experienced impossible change.
That preacher's name was Jesus Christ, and he is creating a lot of change in my life that I thought was impossible. I want to tell people about that, because I don't think I'm the only one who feels like change is impossible.
Or I might be off studying tai chi (or taiji) at a phenomenal school in Harrisburg, PA, with teachers and friends who have given me huge support as I grow, change, and learn how to believe in myself. I might be writing a post for the school's blog, or helping out in other ways.
If I'm not doing that, I might be playing with yarn or thread. I like making things and I like playing with color. I might gain inspiration to write something from those things, because for me, everything becomes a metaphor sooner or later.
While I make things, I might well be indulging my long-term geekery in Star Wars, Tolkien's extended works, or other sci-fi and fantasy creations. Currently I'm fascinated and delighted by what Marvel Studios is doing in their shared universe.
And if I'm not doing any of those things, don't worry. I'll probably be back here to tell you about what I've been doing before long.