It's September, all of a sudden. External markers like season-changes make for good reminders to pause and assess how things are going, and what I see right now is that I need to make some adjustments.
(Yes, I'm calling it a season change. In my mind the seasons run along with the months, so September means fall. Kids are all going back to school, "fall" schedules are starting up, and it's more convenient to just consider summer over now. What does the equinox know about it, anyway?)
It's been six weeks or so working for the "new" company (how long does it take before "new" stops applying?), and I haven't yet developed a good routine. I've been missing too many vital things in my schedule, especially taking time for my personal journal writing and blog writing, spending time with my bible, and chasing other projects I want to get done. I can't let the external work wreck everything else I want to do, especially because I hope to eventually base a career more on writing my own words than writing someone else's. No one can make that happen except me, and I feel like I'm not doing it lately.
My blog challenge to write every weekday until the end of the year is just not working. I'm not sure if it's still the right goal, or if a different one would help me to keep writing. (Because the whole point of having any kind of blog challenge is just to keep writing.)
My bills are changing. I've signed up, at long last, for health insurance, which is a relief and a worry all at once. It's a new thing to pay for and I'm not sure how I'm going to manage it yet.
My body is still weird. I've been working with my doctor to figure out what's going on, and we haven't found any problems yet ... but the body is still being weird. I have no idea what to do with that yet.
I worry too much. Earlier in the year I was working on thinking more positively and changing my thought habits, and that fell along the wayside. It hurts me, always expecting trouble and pain. I want to make that change.
I expect so much of myself; I want everything to be different rightnow, thankyouverymuch. I can't make any of these changes happen that quickly. But I'm at least reminding myself of what direction I'd like to go in.
It's fall. Time to make a few course changes.