I'm still all amped up. I set my alarm clock early today, knowing that I would be awake early anyway. My mind is full of new responsibilities today, needing to check for assignments, needing to schedule those around the blog posts I've assigned myself and other tasks on my list for today AND appointments which take me out of the house this afternoon, taking a large bite out of my working day. I'm on edge, hyperaware of the day's requirements and knowing I'll need to stay sharp in order to get everything done.
Add this to the nerves of the last several days, and it's a recipe for tension. When there's something new going on, I find it hard to relax. When I've got a responsibility to handle, I find it hard to put down until it's all finished. Combine those things together, and I could easily just not relax for days -- until I wear myself out and crash. Not a great result.
I'm reminding myself of taiji lessons today. To move well, you have to breathe. Many people have a tendency to unconsciously hold their breath when concentrating, and holding the breath holds tension inside the body. Taiji doesn't work when tension is held. You have to breathe out; you have to let go.
These days are all too much inheld breath; waiting to see what happens, stressed about what I don't know yet, anxious to get to work. I have to consciously remind myself to relax. To do what I can do, and then lay everything down for a break. I'm not good at this, frankly. It's a skill I need to work on. Therefore, I'm reminding myself: breathe out. Let go.