Last Friday, as soon as Smiley Boy laid down for his afternoon nap, I crawled under my own covers, buried my head in pillows and slept away the afternoon too. I was finished for the week, whether or not I had planned to be.
Today is rainy outdoors and foggy inside my head, and I am watching Smiley Boy while the other adult types are out running errands.
Tomorrow I have my own errands to run in the afternoon and evening, limiting my working time at home. Later in the week I am leaving on a family trip, and will be out of internet-range until next week.
All of this is bad news for the write-every-weekday-until-the-end-of-the-year plan, briefly mentioned already. I'm behind now and about to get behinder. Real life can be awfully hard on high expectations.
I don't enjoy starting this way. I like to stack the deck in my favor as much as possible at the beginning of a challenge, especially a big one like this. But after only four days, I let the schedule slip.
This is the part where I feel like I should have some wise thing to say about "not giving up" and "failure is a part of success" and quippy things like that. I was going to do that, and then I decided not to.
I'm not saying they aren't true. More simple-but-hard things, those are. I just don't have anything wise and meaningful, special and new to say about them ... and right now, I don't know how this is going to turn out. I feel I've dug a bit of a hole for myself. I don't know if I'm going to make it out or if I'm going to shrug and give up.
My track record falls more on the giving up side. But I'm tired of that being the end of the story. I want to succeed at this challenge. But the work is hard and determination often lacking.
I don't know how it's going to turn out. But here's another day down. Another post written. Another step forward. Another day of not giving up yet. I'll be honest, it doesn't feel like much today. But I'll take it.