Stories from a life in progress.

Asking why

I'm still thinking today about purpose and intention and what I choose to do and not do, what I feel I "should" do and not do, and where I get hung up in both doing and thinking.  Today when I made notes in my schedule book (after taking time to write in my personal notebook and pray, carrying on from yesterday's insights), I wrote "Why?" in the margin beside each one.

Last night I did some more personal writing, and unearthed the fact that I often lose the "why" about what I do.  I have a great idea for something new and I'm all excited to start, but as I move into the actual work I forget why the idea seemed like such a good one and why I was interested in it.  I lose purpose and I lose momentum and end up twiddling my thumbs and not getting anywhere, nervously wondering what I "ought" to be doing.  I hate it when I do that, hate how it makes me feel.

So I'm making a point of asking "why?" to the items on my daily to-do list.  Each item must be part of a larger whole with a good purpose, and reminding myself of the purpose will put some life back into the doing.  Or else each item has no good reason and no real purpose, and I don't want to waste my time doing it.  Asking "why?" is my way of trying to move toward work with purpose, work I can care about and find meaning in.